third person

i figured today that im not actually one hundred percent comfortable being just me..
i no that most people arent, but im forever trying to find people and things to inspire me, as i dont have enough faith in myself..whether this will come with age, maturity and wisdom, i guess i will have to find out!

i feel like me when im dressed in something weird or i see 'jade' when im photographed pulling a strange face, posing usually with a pair of bee wings..why is this? shouldnt i feel like me whatever i where or however i look?

people see you how they want to see you..so why cant i see myself  in the same way?...puzzling?

im constantly looking at other people and loving parts about them, and wanting so much to have that trait or to actually be them

this is deep and pretty dull, but i wanted to vent this 'annoyance' i have with myself

learn to be happy with yourself and grow when your ready - advice i give to  a younger   me know!

and i just wanted to add..i talk a lot in third person, i didnt pick up on this till it was pointed out - jade is weird!

#justsaying

i cant keep you becuase you were never mine to start with

blank

worry,fear,anxiety..three negative words that make up part of my green stone.

three -  a number that had always surrounded me

circle like the sun

golden and sparkly, something i have become fond of recently

glitter dust that falls from the heavens

balls of explosions from the white creatures above

watching over me as protection

angels

a blonde lady in white

a long flowy dress that goes on forever

natural, the woods and trees

as tall as the sky

blue and white sheep that can be what ever your mind wants them to be

imagination - something special and unique

quirky and crazy

me

a green stone

precious?

the sound of a heart beat

breathing

alive

human

connection and attachment

the reason for our existance

a positive/ negative

a journey that needs to be taken further

a long road full of wonders and excitement

a new me and a happy me

discovered

with ease and fulfillment

rambles

and stambles

i must stop or this will go one forever..

forever is over

wow you really are gone forever...

two years and nothings changed...other than i no longer have anything to remind me of you, thanks to some silly leaves in a carrier bag!

but i guess i shouldnt get attached to a piece of card that can tear,burn, crumble..
its hard not to with nothing else but maybe some force is telling me to accept and move on - a little push in a new direction

lets be open minded and let the river take to me to a new place.